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Maiden Name

Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction. Sometimes confession needs it's due.

'Cause names can have a way of causing some affliction.

Especially when that name belongs to you.

This is the story of my mother's maiden name as told from her son's point of view.

A story told of innocence but not one told in shame

For on one is to blame for this abuse.

Her name is Dyke! That's right! D-Y-K-E no Van or Von to soften the blow.

Her name is Dyke! That's right! U-C-Y-I might have a little tale you'd like to know...

They say that it is all the same. What it is that's in a name.

A Rose by any other would smell sweet.

But when the name that names a wall that once stood up so wet and tall

Stands for something else it's bittersweet!

Perhaps it was an aberration of an appalachian appellation

That gave my kin the nickname that he bore.

Would have been cute to call him Mikey. But instead we dubbed him Dykie

We don't call him Dykie any more.

His name is Dyke...

I did not know the double meaning and that Mom's name could be demeaning

Until some time after I flew the nest.

I was sitting in the local pub gulping down some suds and grub

When in two ladies came walking abreast.

A friend of mine, as an aside, said word to me he thought were snide,

But I mistook the meaning of his quip.

I sauntered over to the pair. They look at me as I declare,

"I hear that you're both Dykes. Ain't that a trip!"

I called them Dykes ...

As she stood I realized that though she's only half my size I was leery of the damage she could do.

As I detect that's not her sister all I can do is choke a whisper,

"I just thought you'd like to know I'm half Dyke, too..."

Break

I wish you could have seen us then as frowns and fears turned into grins

And suddenly we all just laughed out loud.

They explained to me as we got jolly the reason for my verbal folly

And though we shared no blood I still felt proud.

So the next time that you're in a bar or maybe driving in your car

And see some gal but don't know what to do

Don't be snide and don't be cruel. Just be nice. 'Cause as a rule

They just might be a kin to me or you.

Don't call them Dykes...

That's all I've got to say I've got to go.